Gems November Newsletter 2026

The Importance of Using Positive Language with our Tamariki

Gems Early Learning Newsletter November 2026 | Written by Carrie Lindsay (Teacher, Gems Kōwhai)

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Have you ever stopped to think about just how much your words matter to a young child?

To us, a sentence might feel like an offhand comment, something that is said without much thought. But to a young child, our words can mean something much bigger.

Our little people are working hard at learning who they are, what the world is like, whether they are safe, whether they are capable, and making connections with people, places and things in their world. And much of that learning happens through the words and interactions they experience every day.

This is why the language we use around children matters so much. Little ears are always listening!

Young children are constantly taking in information from the adults around them. They are acutely aware of how we speak to them, and to others around them. Let’s consider these comments for a moment:

"She's so shy."

"He's always hitting others."

"They never listen to me."

These comments can seem harmless, especially when they're said casually or even jokingly. But when a child hears the same messages repeatedly, they can begin to shape the story that tamaiti (child) tells themselves about who they are.

Between birth and age seven, a child’s brain operates predominantly in theta and alpha brainwave frequencies. This is the same state adults experience during deep meditation or hypnosis. Because the logical conscious mind (the prefrontal cortex) is not yet fully developed, children lack critical thinking filters and so they accept whatever they see, hear, and experience as absolute truth.

Early childhood is a period of enormous brain development. Responsive, back-and-forth interactions with caring adults help build the foundations for language, emotional development and later learning. Even talking with a child about what they are seeing, doing or feeling helps build important connections in the developing brain.

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Five Key Values

At Gems we have five key values which we use to guide our teaching and support our tamariki. Those are:

• Respect: We speak to children with kindness, patience and consideration. We acknowledge their feelings, listen to their voices and value them as capable and valued individuals.
• Relationships: We build trusting, meaningful connections through positive conversations, active listening, encouragement and genuine engagement.
• Natural: We encourage children's curiosity, exploration and connection with people, places and things in their world.
• Nurture: We use warm, reassuring and encouraging language that helps children feel emotionally safe, loved and confident. We acknowledge emotions and provide comfort when needed.
• Support: We use language that encourages independence, problem-solving, resilience and confidence. We guide children through challenges rather than ‘fixing’ everything for them.

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Our Critical Role

As teachers, parents and caregivers, we play a critical role in supporting this brain development. Our role is to speak to the child you want them to become. Imagine a child growing up hearing:

"You are kind."

"You are capable."

"Your feelings matter."

These aren't just nice things to say. They are messages about identity, safety, relationships and possibility, reinforcing their feelings of belonging and wellbeing. And the more our children hear these messages, the more they absorb them as facts about themselves. Over time, those messages can become part of the framework through which a child understands themselves and the world around them.

Our words don't have to be perfect every time. Of course, there will be times we lose patience and say the wrong thing when we are rushing out of the house in the morning. That is totally normal and okay. It's about becoming more conscious of the messages we repeat, and then when we get it wrong, we can repair it.

That repair is just as powerful, it teaches children that relationships can withstand mistakes, that adults can take responsibility, and that words can be reconsidered.

Children may not always remember exactly what we said, but they will remember how we made them feel.

Our words have the power to encourage, reassure, empower and inspire. By using positive language consistently, we create an environment where children feel respected, nurtured, supported and connected.

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